This morning I did my weekly weigh-in; I always do them on Sunday mornings.
Stats:
Height 5"4'
Weight 147.0
BMI 25.2 (Overweight)
Dress Size: 10/12
Weight 147.0
BMI 25.2 (Overweight)
Dress Size: 10/12
Bust 33 in
Waist 32 in
Hips 38 in
When I started this thing (6 months ago) I was steadily losing about a pound a week. I was participating in a weight loss contest at work (that I won) but that ended mid-April. Since then I haven't been staying steady at all. I still lose weight, but then gain it back off and on every other week - so basically I am no longer losing but just maintaining. Also I'd just barely gotten out of the "overweight" range, but (as you can see) all I have to do is put a couple pounds back on and I'm right back in it again. I didn't think that silly contest was that big of a motivator but obviously it was.
But there's something else. I've blogged recently (on my main blog) about an unfortunate issue in my past that has resurfaced (and that also happened around mid-April). This issue has brought up a multitude of feelings repressed and hidden away for YEARS that I am now finally being forced to deal with. And it hurts. It hurts so very much. I am dealing with this "death" all over again and right now it doesn't feel like I will ever find a way to heal my soul. And my eating habits have been suffering. I'm still exercising, and I'm still eating right too, but I'm having a lot more slip-ups with the eating. I'm finding myself turning to cookies for comfort at times. Not all the time... but the fact that it is happening at all is not good because #1 this is exactly how I dealt with this issue that has resurfaced back in the day (only with absolutely no control) and #2 I consider myself a food addict and anyone who is fighting addiction knows that (for example) one beer leads to, like... 15.
I don't know yet exactly how I'm supposed to heal from this pain of the past. I only know that I'm still going to fight and not give IT the power that is the essence of my physical and spiritual self.
When I started this thing (6 months ago) I was steadily losing about a pound a week. I was participating in a weight loss contest at work (that I won) but that ended mid-April. Since then I haven't been staying steady at all. I still lose weight, but then gain it back off and on every other week - so basically I am no longer losing but just maintaining. Also I'd just barely gotten out of the "overweight" range, but (as you can see) all I have to do is put a couple pounds back on and I'm right back in it again. I didn't think that silly contest was that big of a motivator but obviously it was.
But there's something else. I've blogged recently (on my main blog) about an unfortunate issue in my past that has resurfaced (and that also happened around mid-April). This issue has brought up a multitude of feelings repressed and hidden away for YEARS that I am now finally being forced to deal with. And it hurts. It hurts so very much. I am dealing with this "death" all over again and right now it doesn't feel like I will ever find a way to heal my soul. And my eating habits have been suffering. I'm still exercising, and I'm still eating right too, but I'm having a lot more slip-ups with the eating. I'm finding myself turning to cookies for comfort at times. Not all the time... but the fact that it is happening at all is not good because #1 this is exactly how I dealt with this issue that has resurfaced back in the day (only with absolutely no control) and #2 I consider myself a food addict and anyone who is fighting addiction knows that (for example) one beer leads to, like... 15.
I don't know yet exactly how I'm supposed to heal from this pain of the past. I only know that I'm still going to fight and not give IT the power that is the essence of my physical and spiritual self.
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